06. We use the Pain – Guano Apes
{Lyrics}
———
Could you step away, I’m a vicious girl
could you fill the break
we’re on the right way, to swing the little axe
it’s the right day, to give up the tax
We use the pain, for our fantasy
we need some pain to find the right way
we love the pain and want some more of it
control the pain, chickenhead !
Right way turning, listen we are learning
head full of noise
chickens got no choice
heads are rollin
chickenblood is stolen
the rest of the chicken
wants to picke-nicken
Could you feed your chicken, cause I’m hungering
drinks and chips for free
the muscles like Bruce Lee
We use the pain for our fantasy
we need some pain to find the right way
we love the pain and want some more of it
control the pain, chickenhead
Right way turning listen we are learning …
Painfull, the table’s red
big storm and no regret
dark side, we use the pain
captain, we are lost insane
mother, we cut the dump, mother
mother, we all, we all, we all
Right way turning, listen we are learning …
(c) Sandra Nasic / Edition Artist Station/EMI Songs Musikverlag GmbH
Duration : 0:2:33
Posted in pain on left side | 2 Comments »
Joe:*later around ten, he knew it was time. He crawled out of bed. Thunder clapped and he thought how cliché. He gulped. Im pretty calm about this. He clutched his note to Nicholas. Big Brawley men snored loudly around him. He tip toed past them. His cold toes quietly patted along the creaky floors. He made his way out the door, freezing cold as the rain pounded down on him. He pushed away the thought of tears, he deserved this. Every gruesome second. He walked out to the fields, stomping through the mud. The razor clutched tight in his hand made small cuts along his thumb, but what did it matter at this point. He looked down and a single tear slid down his cheek. Thunder clapped and lightining lit up the sky. His arm was covered in scars from past attempts. This one will be successful. Another solem tear fell. He picked up the razor. Lets have some fun with this before I do it. I breathed a heavy shaky breath. He brought it up to his left hand. Slowly he pushed the razor sideways down along his second knuckle. It burned as rain drizzled down his nose and fell in the deeply growing scar. He ran it up all the way to his elbow. He became sick as he watched the blood slowly seep out of the wound. He turned his head and fell to the ground puking. I cant take it. Tears burned the back of his eyelids. But I deserve it. Like it matters. You sick sorry how do you think Nicholas felt all those nights you heard him stay up crying!? Cutting himself with this EXACT GOD RAZOR!!! I breathed and looked down to the massive blood pile and puked again. This is so wrong. So gross. So right. I raised the razor up again, it glimmered in rain, lightening, and the full moon. I smiled. This feels good. I hacked my arm up bad. Scars and blood was all I could see. I was now mad with power. They would come find me when dawn comes, but for now its only 11 pm. Time. Time. Time I have for this. I smiled. This. I pulled up my arm and wiped away the blood and admired my scars. I felt the sickness but got it down. This, this act, felt natural. I tried something new, I parted a deep scar with the razor. Just to try it. No. this led to more puke. I wiped my mouth and began to shiver. Shake. Horror. Films. Cant. Describe. This pain. I opened my mouth and a small noise came out. The most torture is the best. Do it for Nicholas. Nicholas. I thought and brought up the note, soggy but legible, the razor carved the words out nicely on my arm. It said why I was doing this, how sorry I am. And. And the one thing I didnt want to face. What all I did to Nicholas. And the day I went too far. I Tried To Make You Tough, Instead I Left You Crying And Lonely. The tears came as I wrote it into my arm. I Know Theres a Possibility Youll Miss Me and This Will Hurt You Worse. I stopped and wiped tears away. But You Have To Understand. I Love You. And I Cant Hurt You Anymore. This Is The Only Way To Rid You Of This Burden. Please. Please. Please. Please. I wrote please at least seven more times through distorted cries. Please, Please Know I Love You. Dont You Ever Forget It. Hey Little Brother I Was Cruel And Mean Too, But Hey Little Brother I Need To Say I Love You. I choked on my tears and sobs as I finished the line. I was running out of room on my arm. I looked at the bloody razor. I wont even be able to find my wrists, I wont need to. Look at all the blood. I moved to my stomach and began to carve deeper and harder. More Pain Nicholas. Thats The Point. Dont Let Anything In Life Slow You Down, Certainly Not Me. Get On With Life. Find Someone Better Than Me. Kevin Will Take Good Care Of You. Blood came faster with the new depth of the scars. I nearly smiled but my lips were quivering too much. I found this now pain free due to blood loss. I sighed in shaky relief. I continued where I left off. Nicholas This Hurts And I Hope You Know How Much Leaving You Hurts Me, I Want You To Know I Suffered Too. I Want You To Get Even. I Apoligize For Every Word I Uttered To You, Every Pain I Inflicted, Every Day You Died On The Inside. Here Is Your Victory Little Buddy. You No Longer Live In Fear. Just Want You To Know Kiddo. With that last line being carved I fell from my knees and down. Down low. Lower than ive ever been. My Dead Body Lay In The rain. Its Over For Him. This Is The End.
I can’t believe